My husband died on Good Friday
The neuro-oncologist said he would die, the palliative care team said he would die, then the hospice team said he would die. Soon.
But no matter how prepared we think we are, we aren’t.
This was not the first time we had to address mortality. Six years ago Randy had a lung transplant that saved his life. But 5 years after the transplant he had a seizure that led to a diagnosis of inoperable, incurable brain cancer. So we knew, because the neuro-oncologist told us, that he didn’t have long to live. Many tests and scans, radiology, chemotherapy, but the tumor grew and another tumor appeared and finally, the cancer spread to his spinal column. And suddenly life expectancy was 1-3 months and he was in palliative care mode. So I KNEW he was dying quickly. But despite the passing weeks and months, I sometimes can’t believe it. I mean, how could he just DIE? How could he be GONE?
Another first
The holiday card I sent this year
Nice guy with a good heart
The reservoir
Symbols and metaphors
This is his ring -he would be so bummed that I didn’t dust the table before I took the photo.
Looking back
Still counting
Might have been a wedding - he always wore a tie for a wedding
He was always cold
Down jacket, fleece throw, electric hoodie on the side
I wanted to live the rest of my life with you
Able to walk, but needing a little support
Do you trust me?
A Christmas party
Another pinprick
Taken with the old point-and-shoot
Happy birthday without you
I often gave him sunflowers for his birthday.
Still forgetting
John Spencer, not everyone’s idea of sexy
No guarantees
A miracle
Things we planned to do
Clean upholstery
This was a good day
Impromptu lunch in the parking lot
It was bound to happen
Six months and counting
Blue Angels
Photo by Sawyer Bengtson on Unsplash
When did bald chests become a thing?
More about the kitchen
A word about Covid
On our last trip to Yosemite a year before he died