Still counting

Today is 8 months since Randy died and I realize that I’m not posting very often. Because when I do, I feel sad. Sadder - because I’m always sad. I miss him so much and sometimes I still can’t believe he’s gone. Sometimes I imagine what he would say if he came back, which is hard. And I should write about that. But then I think, What if I ate M&Ms instead -that’s almost like having feelings, right? What if I just slept longer?

On the 7th of every month I have my head in my hands because I’m moving further and further away from him.