My husband died on Good Friday
The neuro-oncologist said he would die, the palliative care team said he would die, then the hospice team said he would die. Soon.
But no matter how prepared we think we are, we aren’t.
This was not the first time we had to address mortality. Six years ago Randy had a lung transplant that saved his life. But 5 years after the transplant he had a seizure that led to a diagnosis of inoperable, incurable brain cancer. So we knew, because the neuro-oncologist told us, that he didn’t have long to live. Many tests and scans, radiology, chemotherapy, but the tumor grew and another tumor appeared and finally, the cancer spread to his spinal column. And suddenly life expectancy was 1-3 months and he was in palliative care mode. So I KNEW he was dying quickly. But despite the passing weeks and months, I sometimes can’t believe it. I mean, how could he just DIE? How could he be GONE?

Valentines: Take 3
He would have loved it.

Slip slidin’ away
Good day - bed made

Valentines: Take 2
The last Valentines card I received from him - 2021

Valentines: Take 1
Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash

Frame it

First thing in the morning

So what
It just keeps raining

A word about grief groups

I know you

The mail…always a surprise

Three best days

Sometimes what is
I can’t seem to accept

Change one thing
Cancer is no joke
More on Christmas

And so this is Christmas
Downtown Alameda

The best find and the worst
This is the kind of thing he did in his spare time.

It’s starting again
She gets them when I’m finished.