Out of control

The other day I was driving to daughter Hayley’s house to take this decorated rock to the grandsons. I decorated it myself, but that’s another story. This is a route I’ve driven many, many times before and I wasn’t on a deadline - just driving along listening to a podcast.

So I stop at a red light in the left turn lane, I’m the first car in the queue. There’s a sign next to the light warning that there is a $321 fine for running a red light and I see a camera as well. So I sit through a cycle of traffic and I think, Hey - when is it my turn? So I sit through another cycle and again there is no turn for my lane. So now I’m wondering what’s up because this has never happened to before at this intersection - is the light not functioning? So I sit through ANOTHER cycle without a turn and suddenly I think, Fuck it! And I turn left and just go on my way, right through the intersection. It was perfectly safe, there was no traffic, but…

Now, I have to say that I have never purposely run a red light. And if you had asked me if I would consider running a red light because I was impatient I would have said no. But there I was, in no hurry, knowing the penalty, and I just barreled right through the intersection virtually guaranteeing that I will be receiving a ticket in the mail with a picture of me running a red light and a demand for $321. And that’s a traffic violation so I’ll probably get points on my license and my car insurance could go up.

So after I ran the light I was driving along and one part of me was so angry and another part of me is asking, calmly, Why did you do that? And the angry part answers, Randy is DEAD. Which makes no sense at all - sometimes I don’t even know who I am anymore.