Checking the mail

The other day was the 7th of September, which marks 17 months since Randy’s death. And I still feel the loss every day. But some days it’s especially hard - days that I get an email reminder in his name because I can’t put my name on it instead, or days that I get junk mail addressed to him.

I never open the junk mail, but this one is especially hard because it says right on the envelope, We Miss Your Support.

Yeah, so do I.

This is probably from The American Cancer Society because that was a cause he donated money to, in part because his brother Gary died of cancer at 54. Eleven years later Randy would die from the same disease. Which is ironic? I don’t have it in me to feel the irony.

And on the 7th of every month I can feel the sad rolling in, like watching the fog rolling into SF. It’s cold, it’s inevitable, it’s so heavy.