Keep going

That’s the thing, right? Keep going, one foot in front of the other, all those stupid things people say.

Back when I was an academic I used the word recursive with reference to the writing process. You begin a draft, have new thoughts, go back to work them in - you keep going, but not in a linear fashion. It’s a good word, a good concept - life isn’t really linear. And anyone who knows about grief will tell you that it isn’t linear - you don’t just go through steps one at a time.

I’ve been a wreck this weekend, feeling like I’ve slipped back to the early days after Randy died. I miss him so much, and I can’t believe he’s gone and he’s never coming back.

And it’s never going to get any better.