Climb out of the hole

Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

It’s been a very tough week. I feel like I’m slipping backwards into a pit, a hole, a cave - all the cliches. I struggle to get through the days under the weight of my sadness. I haven’t been posting here, have been staying in bed until noon, eating popcorn and M&Ms for dinner, and drinking WAY too much wine. I’m doing all the things that are bad for me and none of the things that are better for me. One night - after talking myself into washing my face and brushing my teeth - I crawled into bed thinking, Okay, I got through the day. But then I was jolted by remembering that it doesn’t matter that I got through the day because there’s another day after that and another day after that, and I’m not working toward anything. None of it really matters because he isn’t coming home.