We talked all the time
Thankfully he’s learned to do something better with his hair.
One night recently I came across the phrase “heat of the moment” which reminded me of the Asia song of the same name on the album of the same name. Not too imaginative, but it was the 80s. Anyway, I googled the music video, remembering that it had been a big deal at the time, and as I was watching it I was struck by the drummer. Whoa - that is a good looking guy. Who is that? Of course I didn’t know, because I never know who’s in a band - I’m lucky if I can name all the Beatles. But Randy would have known.
So then I googled “Asia drummer” and discovered that it was Carl Palmer of Emerson Lake and Palmer. I knew the name, but nothing else, so I looked them up. Huh - they were British and purveyors of Prog Rock. Randy would have known that too. And he might have known that Lake was a member of King Crimson because I seem to remember him mentioning that band.
Then I looked up the lyrics because I heard something about dragon wings and that didn’t seem to me to go with the rest of the lyrics. Randy wouldn’t have known anything about that because he never listened to lyrics, but I love this kind of song. It’s one of those apology songs - Oh baby, please forgive me, I didn’t mean to hurt you and I’ll never do it again. And what would I do without you? But you know he’s going to do it again because, duh, he’s in a rock band and thinks he’s the greatest and he doesn’t treat women well because he doesn’t have to. But dragon wings reminded me of other dumb lyrics like Led Zeppelin singing about Tolkien characters and Crosby Stills Nash singing about Guinnevere. I mean, please.
And this is the way Randy and I passed many an evening together. Some people call it going down a rabbit hole, but to me it’s just a gentle meandering through thoughts and feelings and memories, and when you do it with another person it’s better because you pull in many more thoughts and memories. I particularly liked doing it with Randy because we were the same age, came from the same place, had shared memories, but our minds went in different directions.
If Randy had been here that night he might have argued that Carl Palmer was not good looking - that’s just a good camera angle. Or we might have revisited our argument about whether Ringo Starr was a really good drummer or whether there was a period in his life when Randy looked a bit like Ringo Starr because he’d lost so much weight his face was thin and he always had baggy eyes. Or we might have started listing bands with three names: Emerson Lake and Palmer, Bachman Turner Overdrive, Crosby Stills and Nash. At which point we could have rehashed our argument about Neil Young. Worst guitar player ever (me), great guitar player (Randy). Should be arrested every time he starts to sing (me) the singing goes with the guitar (Randy). Stephen Stills was the sexy one (me) no opinion (Randy). Graham Nash’s songs were the worst (both of us).
When Randy and I first met he lived in California and I lived in Iowa and we emailed every day and talked on the phone for hours - and this was back when everyone had land lines and paid long distance charges. Hundreds of dollars a month, but it was worth it. He had a warm sexy voice and he was so comforting to me and I loved him so much.