Death-i-versary

Not to be confused with breath-a-versary, which marked the day he received new lungs.

On this day, 2 years ago, Randy died. It was the worst day of my life but I was so deeply in shock that I didn’t realize it at first. So I expected to feel very sad today—I was pretty much paralyzed by grief Christmas Day so I thought this would be worse.

But I woke up to a phone call from Kendall. Because she is on the other side of the country we had struggled to find something to do to commemorate the day, celebrate his life, whatever you want to call it. We decided that I would tell her the story of how Randy and I connected at the 20 year reunion and that first 6 months as we made the decision to toss caution to the wind and unite our families.

So I told her the stories—which I have certainly told her before—and it actually made me feel better. I’ve spent the day thinking about those early times rather than the horrible last 3 years of his life.

I hope we can make a ritual of it and I hope it can continue to make me happy. Sort of. For one day.