One thing at a time
I had to go to the bank today to deposit the check for Randy’s life insurance payout - it took me nearly a week to get it done. On Friday the check came in the mail along with a letter telling me again how sorry Wells Fargo is that my husband died. I cried and filed the check away. On Monday I called the insurance company to get some explanation of the terms of the payout, but the person I spoke with didn’t seem to really understand the policy. So I asked to have the case manager call me the next day.
The case manager called and we went through all the numbers together. Really, you have to hand it to insurance companies - they have all the money so they make all the rules. Randy paid on that policy for 25 years because he wanted to leave me provided for - he was obsessed by keeping track of all our resources, occasionally telling me the total with great pride. I think he checked his 401K balance every day.
A second policy came along with the job, a company-funded benefit with a payout twice his annual salary. In a way it’s a gesture of goodwill - most people leave the company before they die so the company doesn’t have to pay anything. But here’s a wrinkle: because Randy was 65 when he died the payout was reduced by 35%. Which is okay - the company pays for it so it’s like a gift.
BUT, the first policy, the one Randy paid for all those years, has a rule about turning 65 as well. At 65 the insured’s premiums jump up significantly. So at the same time his premiums on one policy went up and his payout on the other went down. It’s just so depressing that we live in a culture that really doesn’t care how old people will manage when they can’t work. (That’s a general comment - I’ll be fine - don’t start a GoFundMe.)
Anyway, today I took the check to deposit and his death certificate to have his name removed from our accounts. I HATE having to get a death certificate out of my file drawer. It just makes me so sad. And it breaks my heart to have to remove him from things. I know it’s just his name I’m removing - he’s already been removed from me. We had been a pair for so long, and now it’s just me.